Just Wondering 2

News item: Kerik withdraws his name from consideration to run the Department of Homeland Security over questions about an illegal nanny. Washington now awaits a reciprocal gesture from Osama bin Laden’s top lieutenant.

Other than football, they haven’t figured out a way to commercialize Thanksgiving yet. Don’t worry, though. They’ve got a team of marketers working on it as we speak.

You probably didn’t know Chicago has a Department of Aging. Is this really necessary? People get old naturally. We don’t need any help from bureaucrats.

Anyone else bothered by the fact that using the word Christmas in public discourse is strongly discouraged this time of year? You hardly hear it at the office, in advertising, or at school. We don’t have Christmas trees anymore. Now they’re holiday trees. We don’t have Christmas parties, either. They’re holiday parties. Same with Christmas lights, Christmas vacation, and Christmas presents. It’s almost as if the Grinch came in the middle of the night and stole Christmas all over again.

Speaking of holidays, a lot of people have stopped saying Merry Christmas for the more generic Happy Holidays. My wife hates to tell them this, but holiday comes from holy day. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

If we have to give up Christmas because of its religious origins (the word means Christ mass), let’s not stop there. Say goodbye to goodbye (God be with you). No more blessing people when they sneeze, either. Kind of warms your heart, doesn’t it?

Anyone ever read John 3:16?

Hell hath no fury like a conservative crossed.

I heard a former professional football player say on the radio that he had no problem with the suggestive–or is that too weak a word?–Monday Night Football promotion for “Desperate Housewives.” He said the unasked for sight of Nicollette Sheridan dropping her towel and jumping into the arms of Terrell Owens gives parents the opportunity to open lines of communication with their kids about sex. (That’s funny; I thought we already had plenty of these “opportunities” in today’s culture.)

I must be getting old. I thought it was up to parents to choose the time and place to give “the talk.”

Want to see a real desperate housewife? Come home from the office and say something about the mess.

Television ads for SUVs are pretty unrealistic. They show motorized monsters tearing up what look like federally protected wilderness areas that no one could ever legally drive on. And besides, even if you do find the occasional dirt road, your wife will probably say No anyway.

The old joke–I was at a fight and a hockey game broke out–needs to be updated. Substitute basketball for hockey.

Why does so much of what passes for bioethics these days seem so unethical?

What is it with the Christopher Reeve crowd? Yes, he was a courageous man, but that didn’t give him carte blanche on science.

Why can’t folks on the left make the simple distinction between stem cells harvested from adults or umbilical cords (in which no killing is involved) and those taken from human embryos, which are destroyed in the process? Could it be they don’t want to make the distinction?

Why do many of the people who favor keeping abortion “safe, legal, and rare” also support embryonic stem cell research?

Hats off, Mr. Huxley. You were right. We appear to be killing ourselves with pleasure.

News item: Harry Reid says Clarence Thomas is an embarrassment to the Supreme Court, and that his opinions have been poorly written. Did I blink, or was that the shortest political honeymoon on record?

Did you see W. turn around and snatch the Secret Service agent from the crowd in Chile? I know Kerry was the “war hero,” but which guy would you rather have at your side in a street fight?